Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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