he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
