i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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