but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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