She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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