its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
