I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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