can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
