Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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