Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
