Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
please don't ironically join a cult
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