Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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