You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
