Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
