First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
