The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This girl is more easily done than said...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
