He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
