He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
