I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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