Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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