I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Randomize
