Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
