i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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