I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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