he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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