I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
