we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
