going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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