Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
