I wish I could teleport
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
