There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
