shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
