She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
