i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
