If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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