Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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