I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
