did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
