I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
