I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
