Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
