The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
