Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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