how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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