Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
