I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
