Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
