now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
