I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
