You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
