he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
