dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
