before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
